The Ugly Pocketling II

I have a clean freash ready to use orange Fuzzibunz Elite OS in my hand. 48 hours ago that was not the case. After looking at it and feeling it, I must say Thereson Dupuy deserves a monumnet, cause I don't know what other diaper would be like that after what it went through (Grovia AIOs definitely wouldn't).

But let me go back a little bit. I know it will sound gross to you, but among all the little things I've done to accomplish my no-stink life is the no wet bag. You heard it right, I don't use a bag, a pail or any other device to shield the diapers from the outside world. I throw them in the dirty laundry or place them on top of the hanging rack. Sure they smell if you approach too much, but otherwise, the overall odour in the house is safe to breath.

However, poop complicates this arrangement. If there's a poopy diaper (which, thanks to bf, doesn't happen on a daily basis), it gets sprayed with the hand held shower into the toilet and further into the sink until there's practically nothing but stains left. Of course, I'm left with a very dripping diaper that can't go anywhere but a wet bag and a tub. Sometimes I just leave it in the sink and do a load of diapers right after, but anothers, well, it goes into a wet bag and then a hanging tub in the bathroom wall. It hides it pretty well.

As you can imagine, I think I hid it too well, so much that next time I washed diapers, I totally forgot there was a poopy hidden one. And the next time, and... I can't recall.

One day it stroke me I hadn't seen the orange FB for a while. My stash is so varied in color and so small, it's easy to notice when a diaper is missing. And it hit me: I could look inside the white tub. Yep. There was a wet bag there. It was late at night, so I decided to do something next morning.

I took the bag and plain emptied it directly in the washer with another load. Then I left it soaking in Murphy's oil soap. Got it washed with another load of clothes again (I didn't care about detergents or fragances, just wanted the diaper clean!). Rinsed, spinned, I put it in the sun. Inserts, wet bag and all.

Next day: a clean diaper!!! Of course I needed to strip the oil soap, but there were no signs of mold anywhere, or any other residuals of any kind. I tossed it with the regular diaper wash (which includes a couple of drops of Dawn in the rinse cycle) and it was good to go and smeling like a clean diaper smell: nothing.

So, if you happen to forget a dripping diaper, please, make sure it's a Fuzzibunz!

Fears, Rules and Detergents

Like most moms, I bought my fluff and wanted to do everything right. That included the religious washing routine that required a special detergent.

My first choice was All Free and Clear. Later on I saw that the cloth diapering community had mixed results on it. Some approved it but not as the best, some completely trashed it. It was a pain trying to keep the build up down, but the reason I gave up on it was that it wasn't getting the job done. Great for poop stains, but not so fantastic for urine removal.

I switched to ECOS, since it was relatively cheap and "all natural". Remember what I said about All and the stains? well, that's why I missed it. Not only did it not remove stains, it was so gentle on the diapers that it left the ammonia there,  just in case the diaper would be too stressed out with the chemical reaction.

In the meantime, I spent some 10 weeks of the hot season out of here. Near Lake Erie, I asked before hand what detergent worked nice in the area, the answer was Tiny Bubbles, so I rushed to buy it so that it would be waiting for me when we arrived. It was my first time with a cd specific detergent!
 Too bad it doesn't clean. I couldn't stand the smell, even when it was supposed to be perfume free, having to dilute it in hot water was a pain and Little Guy started having rashes within a week.

Fortunately, the Flats and Handwashing challenge came, and for washing my t-shirts I used a bar soap. It didn't work great either, but survived the 7 days. Came back home one week later.

After that, I went to see my folks in Mexico and walked throuhg all Walmart trying to find a perfume free detergent - not such luck. So, when asking my mom what she used to wash baby clothes, she said Zote

Of course, Zote has been around since way before I can remember. It is a bar soap, and every house in Mexico, regardless of having a washer or not, has a bar at hand. I did not want to spend time grinding it though, but happened to find a washer friendly version in flakes. OK, I guessed I would strip my diapers when I came back.

2 weeks later, I couldn't believe it. Certaintly it wasn't great for the stains (sun helped with those), but all the ammonia smell had completely dissapeared. I was slightly bothered by the perfume, but no rashes and no stinkies at all!

I came back and started using ECOS again. The amount of boosters was unbelievable. I was adding baking soda, Dawn, Castile soap and Hidrogen peroxide to the mix and still no results. Stink had come back in a week.

Back in the lake, I found Eco Nuts in the coop and decided to give them a try. Stinkies decreased, much better than Tiny Bubbles, but terrible with stains. I'll keep them there for sure, but I'm not convinced that they work for everything as they claim.

Back here, I remembered I had a small piece of Zote that my uncle gave to me in our Christmas trip to Texas. Couldn't hurt to try.

So, since my washer is so primitive and I fill the tub with my hand held shower hose, I just put the Zote piece below it and allowed whatever it released into the mix. The results were immediate.

I had finally found a way to wash my diapers without spending tons of money ($2 a bar) without buildup and without theneed of boosters. I've been using it for 2 months without a problem. In fact, I'm using it for all my laundry, leaving ECOS only for backup.

This was the epiphany: "Detergent buildup is easy to remove, ammonia is not". Truth is, most of us are so scared about our investment being ruined and warranties being voided, that we forget the most important function o fa detergent: to clean.

Later in the Cloth Diaper Support Group I'm enrolled, a lot of requests for help have appeared. Ammonia is a big monster, one you need your best arsenal to fight. Sometimes, that arsenal implies breaking the sacred rules. A lot of moms just plain and simple go with Tide. Others use tons of hot water and some more use more detergent than the mandated, bleach or even boil them. Remember, the most important thing is to keep the baby safe and rash free, not to keep your diapers with a valid warranty.

Sometimes we need to look back and see what our moms did, and this is what they did in Mexico to wash flats. This soap is so good that Mexicans are not wondering around the grocery store trying to figure out the best detergent for their babies. Sometimes, what has always been done is what works best.

I don't know if I'll keep using it, but so far, it has the least amount of buildup and usage with the highest efficiency. Suds are mostly gone after the first rinse, by the second, the smell (that is strong, have to admit) is gone.

I put the soap inside a baby sock and just toss it with the wash in hot water. couldn't be happier with the results.




 

Breast Feeding Myths in Mexico

I did an express trip to Mexico for a family event. Took Tiny Guy only, leaving Little Guy with his Daddy, along with tons of snacks and easy food (organic and all that).

Tiny Guy was just fantastic, there's nothing I would ask for in a 1 yearold during a 4 day 3000 mile trip. Not only he slept during flights, ate well and held on even with a huge airport hold and an 8 hour delay, but during the party and the after party he was all smiles, from arm to arm, smiling at everyone and keeping his cool self, I think he was happy of not having a big brother taking his toys away.

Anyway, I got the same question over and over again: why is he so good? with all the variables: what drug did you give him, how come he's so smiley, is he always like this.....

But as soon as they heard the answer, which was always the same: BREAST MILK, their tone would change and the fear face would replace the happy face.Had my answer been "morphine" or "extasis", their faces would have softened up a tiny bit. Why are they so weary of the only food made specially for the baby by our own bodies?

Anyway, extended breast feeding in Mexico is declining fast after a decent period, here are some of the cultural barriers that we as Mexican moms have to face on a daily basis:

• The baby will bite you - My mom has a brother 2 years younger. She tells me that she remembers her mom feeding him and requesting to be breast fed as well, her mom told her that the breast was only for teethless babies, so she was satisfied with the answer and never requested it again. On several occasions I've seen friends afraid of older babies biting you and that seems to be enough of a reason for stopping. True or false? Neither. Babies bite when they get their new teeth. It took me a couple of sad faces and complaints to teach him how to feed without biting. They are fast learners and believing that they would bite on an every day basis underestimates them.
• Production fades in 3 to 4 months - I loved that one. It was not prejudice knowing the babies biggest source of food, it was just amazement that it could be done. No, production does not automatically go away in a few months. A mother was court ordered to stop breast feeding her 6 yearold child. As long as it is required and no other factors come to place, production will continue.
• If you breast feed, the baby won't eat anything else - That one was given by 2 different uncles. Seems like they think babies that are breast fed don't eat anything else. Again, some mothers may do that, but that's neither the rule nor the general practice. Exclusive breast feeding may go longer than formula fed babies, but by the time they hit their first birthday, most of them are eating all kinds of foods.

Truth is, not everybody is able or willing to do it. Truth is babies can grow happy and healthy being bottle fed. But this type of myths is not helping the situation

How to Take Care of a Baby and Die on the Intent

* If you know (or are) a new mom with this or other bizarre behavior, let family and friends know that there is help, that the babies are doing fine, but that professional intervention is required (some resources at the bottom). Postpartum mood disorders are temporal and treatable, it's not the new mom's fault and she needs love and reassurance. This is some of the behavior I observed recently in a closed and beloved friend.

If you really want to suffer and have an endless terrible time caring for your newborn, follow these steps:

• Avoid any links - Being connected to your baby makes things easier, babies get comforted really fast, go to sleep very fast, even for naps, and communicate their problems really fast, if you keep avoiding any connecting activities, you'll stress out every feeding, every diaper change, every little accident, it will all become a tragedy, it will keep you restless at night because you just won't know if the baby is OK. Breast-feeding is a no no, babywearing...forget about it (you can always claim that babies have to "open their legs widely and yours simply can't" or any other really nonsense one. Also, change diapers every hour, peed or not, so that you'll miss signs about it as well and never will know when it is really necessary to do it.
• Always think the worst - I can assure you that this logic is going to take you to the ER at least on one occasion, so you'd better be prepared and have a nice health insurance that doesn't raise a flag after the third visit, or use different policies to not get caught. If your baby falls from the bed, it is most likely a concussion, it most likely hit the baby in the soft spot and if it's your baby, then that's the most delicate thing in the entire planet. Run to the pediatrician with a cold because, you know, it can become pneumonia. And when your baby finally sleeps through the night, think that this time it's something really really bad. That will take your stressometer up to the roof.
• Stay away from the convenience - Make sure you have the leakiest smelliest diapers you can find, so that you can complain about them openly, don't get any baby gear that will help you cope with your day to day activities, vanish good finger food and replace it with candies, if your baby likes a toy and feels happy with it, always lose it and forget it. If you get out, don't bring a diaper bag or means to feed the baby, that will force whomever you are to bring you back home and create unnecessary drama that you can later brag about with your mom or your spouse.
• Run away - Your spouse is useless, he's never understanding, he wants to help but he's working all day long and he doesn't know how to take care of YOUR baby. Time to pack, leave to your mom's house and say "see you in a month". Running from your responsibilities always solves the problems, they just stay behind. This works better if your folks live far away, because plane tickets are expensive to change or cancel. Everybody will be on the alert because the baby is having problems, you'll have your beloved ones so worried about the baby, they won't see that the problem is with someone else. You can always go to a friend's house or a sibling if your folks are not available, but remember, the farther away, the better.
• Listen to your mother - After all, our moms raised us and we turned out fine, right? They are way wiser than the baby doctors, new investigations and findings and they love us. So, if she says put cognac on the gums, listen to her. All those myths and rules that you have to follow are going to make taking care of a baby even harder and are going to make your gut instinct even more silent. Babies have to be bathed daily, head first, and at least half an hour after eating, with special soap, never in the shower and with your eyes blinded because the sight of the mother can bring new germs to the baby. If the baby poops a lot, there must be something wrong, if the baby doesn't poop at all in the day, time to go to the ER, allow her to take the baby off your hands, that for sure will keep the link between you two decreasing.
• Never rest - You never know when the baby pees, stops breathing or may have a tear out, it is impossible to predict. That means you cannot rest. Forget about eating or sleeping, you have to watch the baby 24/7 to make sure nothing will happen. Don't take care of yourself, nor allow any other person to take care of the baby while you take a bath, if the baby is sleeping, watch every single breath, something weird may happen, she may breathe funny, her eyes may roll a little, she may do something you had not seen before and that is a priceless opportunity for drama.
• Resist disconfirmations - If you see a problem and anybody else, even the whole world, tells you there's nothing to be afraid of, distrust them and look for a second, third and fifth opinion, if those also agree, then look for a sixth or act upon your fears anyway. Nothing better than this to call for drama and attract attention. If there's an outbreak on Carseatitus, your baby must definitely have it, so go to the pediatrician and have the baby tested, if it comes negative, don't get alleviated, most likely there was a mistake, or the disease doesn't appear in analysis yet, so come back in 2 weeks, just to make sure, and always ask the doctor if there is anything else that can be done, ask for a specialist and a referral and make every single medical test under the sun, then come back to the PCP and tell him that it was diagnosed, even if not the case.
• Cry -  Nothing as effective to  manipulate your close loved ones than with tears. It doesn't matter if the baby is fine, do it anyway, anytime, anywhere.
• Be Judgmental - Anything less than perfection is not accepted, neither with your kids nor with others, and what you do is what is correct, so why is it that nobody else does it? Call it out, judge, be nasty, tell other moms all the things that are wrong with their kids, be tactless and rude. Doing things differently may mean that what you do is wrong and you can't take that. Plus, it will scare your friends away so that they can't see what is lying underneath. And you'll be alone and miserable, just your favorite place.

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If you or someone around you needs help, here are some immediate websites that will direct you to the appropriate channels:

• CANADA Find Help - Canadian Mental Health
• USA  (800)773-6667 .....1-800-PPD-MOMS Post partum depression hotline
• USA in Spanish 805-541-3367  Línea de Apoyo para la depresión posparto 
• MEXICO terapia-psicologica.com.mx Depresión Post Parto
• Worldwide Postpartum.net

My Must Have Item (Hand Held Shower)

Way before I started cloth diapering, my husband spinal cord got damaged and Tiny Guy existed there was this other life that lasted only 15 months. Me, my able bodied husband and Little Guy.

Back then, when life still made sense and I was not submerged in surrealism, I was being an average breast feeding mom. We did have some baby gear (we have NONE now) and we scrubbed poopy clothes on a daily basis.

Little Guy's explosions started to get out of control, one day it got all over his exersaucer, so that we had to bring him into the shower among the two of us and "hose him down" with our hand held shower. That day, besides creating a Dr Seuss poem about poop very similar to the pink spot in "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back", I realized that having a shower head in my hand could be very powerful. From then on, I stopped using baby wipes and would just "hose him down" after explosions, making my life easier (didn't know about cloth ones back then).

From then on, that was my recommendation, and if I didn't have it due to being away from home, I wold miss it more than any other baby item.

Later on, my husband's disability played a big role. It was impossible for him to have a bath without sitting down. We already had the shower, all we needed was a chair. But from then on, every time we travel, we need a handicap room with this beautiful feature.

Then Tiny Guy came, and with him a Panda washer and cloth diapers. It has been my sprayer and my washer filler. So, here's all the wonders we've done with it:

• Get a full shower with special attention to very dirty body parts.
• Clean a very poopy baby bum
• Massage breasts to help removing a clogged duct.
• Massage neck after a stressful day
• Baby bath without a baby tub
• Spraying diapers
• Filling up washer
• Toddler bath, including games and easy shampoo removal
• Diaper handwash (great for rinsing)
• Bathtub cleaning
• Water massage in the back when being in labor
• Having a shower without standing up (great for disability and advanced pregnancy)
• Scalp massage for relaxation
• Water massage therapy in hands and feet with neuropathic pain
• Cleaning baby's bath tub
• Feet cleansing without a whole shower (bath chair included)

So, if you're having a baby and still don't count with one of these little lifesavers, go ahead and add it to your registry.

Celebrating the World Breastfeeding Week 2013 with a Clogged Duct.

Today is the last the of the World Breastfeeding Week 2013. I didn't even think about that 90 minutes ago when I realized the pain on my right breast was not going to go away on its own and Tiny Guy was going to sleep for the rest of the morning. The flag was raised. Clogged Duct.

I am a very fortunate mother that has had the blessing of nursing for quite a while. Little Guy was weaned at 2.5 years due to my advanced pregnancy and 3 months later Tiny Guy was out and around, and drinking lots of breastmilk. In all that almost 3.5 odyssey, only once had I had this problem before, that time I didn't know the name of it, the remedies or how long it would last.

I remember latching Little Guy and having him nurse to no avail, he would be satisfied and I would still feel as if he had not nursed at all. Plus, my breast did not look engorged, but felt like it. After a painful 2 hour non-sleep in the middle of the night, I did what every wife with a wonderful man should do: I called for help.

My husband got me up and threw me in the shower, gave me the head and asked me to point it to the breast. Whatever it was, it needed water and heat. Then he went and asked Mr Google what was going on with me. Eventually the symptoms gave him the answer.

Of course, he was on the right path with the shower, and I was too with the extracting. The problem is that Little Guy was almost 2 and only nursed in mornings and nights. I had to have him help me. Invited him to do it at every occasion, skipped lunch, cooked things that he doesn't like much, anyway, he nursed all day long.

I was fearful of mastitis, I always am. Thanks to it, my mom stopped breast feeding me after only 10 days, and the unfortunate chain of events that took of make my first year's survival a miracle. Clogged ducts need attention immediately to avoid an infection, and unless the pain is unbearable or the fever reaches a high point, it is better to stay home with the baby and hopefully somebody else (I have my disabled husband that painfully can take care of me sometimes)

Between the frequent nursing, manually extracting before the nursing and the heat applied, it was gone within a day. I've been a hard advocate for manual extraction ever since, I think that's why it only happened once with Little Guy (and now once with Tiny Guy).

2 hours ago, I got up, drank whatever was left from a water bottle (with Little Guy's help) and manually drained the breast. It was not much, maybe an ounce, but it did a huge difference. At least the pain is resting. 600 mg of Ibuprofen later, the fever is coming down and the shivers with it. I may be able to sleep for the next hour, with my milk bottle ready for another discharge and Tiny Guy ready for another feast.

Remember. If it happens to you, drain, nurse, drain, nurse. Drain before every feeding, hot showers, heat and pain killers will help getting you through the day.

Reasons for using disposables

In the past couple of days, I've found several posts of people that see cloth diapering mothers as nazis, that think it is not worth it and no money is saved, which they use as pretext to go back to disposables.

Instead of getting angry and answering them, which others have, I want to approach the subject as saying: YES, using disposables is allowed, at least in my book, and no, I'm no better than other parents just for using cloth.

But if they choose disposables, I think there are valid reasons out there, instead of trying to pretend that you don't save money or the environment (neither of which were my reasons for switching), I'd like them to be honest. Here are real situations in which it is valid using them:

• Because you want to. I know it would be obvious, but for me cloth is a choice, and it is not all or nothing, I still have some disposables around, although the last bag has spent some 3 or 4 months in the closet. It is not up to anybody but the user to decide, and it is way more valid than attacking cloth. A lot of moms won't want to get bothered, or get overwhelmed, or simply think disposables are cute.
• Rashes. Yes, certain babies do better with disposables. Although many people switch the other way due to sensitivity to chemicals, it happens. I did almost quit once for Little Guy, until I found a way to keep him from getting burned. Sometimes there is no perfect washing detergent, or water, or routine and the need for constant creams and ointments makes them a necessity.
• Droughts. I go to the sink, water pours. We're connected to the city system, sometimes certain activities like watering your garden, can be restricted, but in general we take it for granted when it comes to laundry. Not everybody has this situation. A lot of houses in rural areas have their own wells, and sometimes they need to be extremely careful or they run dry. Yes, I don't spend extra water, I do less baby laundry, less flushes, and fill the washer with the water that is spilled waiting for the hot to kick in during a shower, but not everybody has those choices.
• No washer. Yes, I did the Flats and Hand Washing challenge, yes it was doable. Yes, I'm not working out of the house, yes, it took some 30 minutes a day and not everybody can afford such a luxury. There are plenty of hand operated washers, but they save no time. Portable ones like mine are great, but they are unknown, even for the cloth diapering community. I know that some use the laundromat, but then it becomes more expensive than disposables. It is doable, but not easy, and I wouldn't hold anybody responsible for not going cloth on that one.
• Economy. Wait, isn't it cheaper on the long run to use cloth? Yes, but the initial investment can be impossible for some. But even if they use the cheapest diapers out there, or get them donated, or use their old t-shirts, sometimes the water bill comes too high and low income families can get free disposables from diaper banks. Those banks will tell you over and over that cloth is not a viable option (if our cleaning lady in Mexico clothed nine babies and worked full time, anybody can!). Water bills can be the turning point for low income people and diaper banks. That's the reality.
• Laziness. Moms like what they see other moms use. Being innovative and exploring different approaches is not the common ground. I still see a lot of my friends using formula, strollers and cribs. They are happy, it works for them. They don't want to take the time to explore different options, research and come to a conclusion, having a baby is demanding enough. I could not stand disposables and that's why I took the time to research, but a lot of moms like them, they work for them and they don't mind the explosions and spendings. As long as they keep their babies safe and happy, they are doing a good job, and in many aspects I am a lazy mom myself (which is why I co-sleep, breastfeed and cloth diaper, it is easier for me).

Bottom line: I've had much more success not saying anything and letting my diapers speak for themselves. Being judgmental won't help to spread the awareness. Being dishonest and stating that they are not as green (due to a faulty study) or not as economical (using expensive detergents and old washers) won't help anybody's cause and will make you look like a bad mom.