Tuesday, April 9, 2013

My Boy Has Long Hair

I have two beautiful boys: Tiny Guy and Little Guy.

 Little Guy is over 3 now and at this point, mostly out of diapers. He is a very singular one, with things done at his own pace and by his own way.

Due to my husband's beliefs, we didn't cut his hair when he was little, and then, kinda forgot about it. What came out was an amazing straight hair and bangs that he loves waving.

We do have a person that cuts his hair and leaves it long in a boyish fashion, but she lives very far, and due to Tiny Guy's arrival, we have not been able to see her, so Little Guy's hair is really long! We'll give it a cut when we see her, but in the meantime we're just trimming the bangs. We tried someone here and gave him a girl's cut (yuck!)

So, as you may think, I get all kinds of comments, I get the "what a gorgeous hair" and, most of the time the "you SHOULD cut his hair". Combined with the more polite "do you think it would be a good idea to cut his hair?" and my favorite: no comment at all, just a pedantic sign of cutting your hair in front of me in my own house, done to somebody else.

Why don't I do it then? well, by starters, I don't think it's someone else's business what I do with my child's hair. It's, more than our business, his. And let me tell you something, he may be delayed in his speech, but he can comunicate, and he has stated very clearly that he loves his long hair and doesn't want it short.

Moreover, my husband has long hair. My son does not understand that long hair is supposed to be "for girls", he doesn't understand gender issues very well, he knows he is more like Daddy than like me, and Daddy has long hair, so why wouldn't he?

Which brings me to gender issues. I have always stated that I have a boy, but never told him so. I have never told him the difference between boys and girls or showed him specific toys. He sees pink as one more color and does not relate it to girls. He is 3 and learning 2 languages, but he is, in all aspects, a boy.

Whoever says that little children don't know about gender identity have never had one. My little boy has not been exposed to gender related propaganda, yet he likes toy cars, trains, climbing, red, blue, green, Cars (the movie), Thomas the Train, running around, balls, etc. He doesn't care about how he looks and usually picks bright color T-shirts and jeans for outside (and nothing for inside). He climbs what you put in front of him, he is independent and determined. He doesn't care much about dolls, only once in a while he will get a stuffed animal and hug it. So, he has let us know that he is a boy, in every aspect, including the hair.

So, next time you see a child, before looking at the hair, look at what the child does and what the child is wearing and the child's behavior. The other day at a doctor's office, the conversation went like this:

-What a gorgeous boy you have
-Thank you.
 -At first I thought it was a girl, but then I saw the cars and how he was playing and noted that his outfit was definitely boyish.
-I'm glad, people take him for a girl a lot.
 -People just don't think.

So, use your brain for more than half a second. There are several children out there that are not what you pictured in your brain, mine being one of those.

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