Co-sleeping Makes Me Sleep

I was raised in what Occidentals would call the "traditional" way. I don't know where all these weird traditions come from, but it is how most my friends and family were raised too.

I was not breastfed, I slept in my own crib since day 1 and in my own room since I turned 6 months. I was transported in a stroller, born via c-section and tied to a schedule.

I turned out OK. I have 2 wonderful parents that not only love me and my siblings like crazy and keep providing and helping us, even as adults. They also love each other more than anything else. I am very fortunate that I still have 2 healthy parents living together and always willing to help.

But my health did not turn out that great. Even though I am in good shape, my thyroid doesn't work, I have arthritis and hypoglycemia. According to my parents, those problems were unavoidable. Still, before turning 1, I got every sickness on the manual, had to be moved out of Mexico City due to respiratory problems and did not gain height or weight in a really long time.

One other problem I always had was lack of sleep. I would spend hours and hours looking at the ceiling, reading, wondering around the house. I woke up at 7 am every Sunday when everybody else was sound asleep and even wrote poems about my insomnia in my teenage years.

All that came to an ending when I got pregnant. I noticed I was falling asleep on the Subway, watching movies, driving (don't do it please)... That was the most obvious pregnancy sign.

But then the baby came out. I had been raised to think that they had to go to the moses basin and then to their own crib. I had everything ready and... his first night on the house was living hell. He woke up some 5 times. I would nurse him, he would go back to sleep and wake up 30 minutes later.

By the third night, I was so exhausted that when he woke up at 5 am and I wanted to wait half an hour to feed him (according to the "schedule"), I brought him to bed, and the three of us passed out for 3 hours!!

All of a sudden we woke up at 8 am, refreshed and happy. I told my parents what had happened and my dad just said "NO". I felt so guilty I tried for several nights to fix that terrible mistake, only to realize that the only way we would get some rest was sleeping the three of us together.

Then a friend of mine sent me Dr Sears' Baby Book. It was an awakening. I saw the "converting" and the "sect" part of it and took things with perspective. But I found a validation in my every night sleeping routine and started doing it without guilt.

Later on I discovered a fantastic ability: the art of sleeping during the day. I had never been able to master such a craft. Naps were never part of my agenda, I had always been deprived of sleep, because if I had not done it at night, it would just never come and recovery was never on the horizon. Better yet, I could put my baby to sleep with me. It was not what my dad told me: "sleep while the baby sleeps or you won't have a chance" but "if you want to sleep, take the baby and make him sleep too".

I'm a much healthier human being since I became a mom. I don't recall when was the last time I got a serious cold but it was more than 2 years ago. My boys have never been sick, they don't know the meaning of it. I don't know if breast feeding and co sleeping has anything to do with it, but I can safely say that it has been a pleasure to have two babies that sleep through the night from the start, nurse while sleeping and keep going. It works for our family and has saved me countless sleep hours.

So if somebody tells me that it will take a lot of effort to get my boys to sleep in their own bed, it will never equal what I have saved. And yes, Little Guy likes sneaking in some nights, but mostly sleeps on his own by now, effortlessly.

The Tag

When I found out there was a little bean on the way, I didn't mentally prepare myself to it, I didn't start shopping and I didn't make a plan.

I assumed the deal was done, I had seen plenty of babies in my family and taken care of them. I knew what they needed and it seemed to be only one way to do things. I also was pretty broke and trying to get only the basic things. I kept making my list smaller and realized how many things babies don't actually need.

Then Little Guy came. He twisted my world around in 2 days and made me realize I was going to do things my way, and not my family's. He wouldn't sleep in his bassinet, and I started co-sleeping just because I needed to rest and it was the only way. I felt bad, I felt I was spoiling my kid for life. Then I got across the famous (and infamous) dr Sears' Baby Book and that opened a whole new world for me. I saw the "cult" inclination on it and tried not to fall for it, but found there were different ways of approaching parenthood and that what I felt was right was what counted.

But I also discovered the other side of the coin. A group of moms that do things the other way and try to claim that theirs is the only one. They will snob you if you don't co-sleep, don't breastfeed til they children are 5, and don't wear your baby. And I found there's a war between these 2 types of parents and that they will urge you to take a side, and tag yourself.

So, what's my tag? I think I belong a little more to the co-sleeping extended breastfeeding cloth diapering  type, but I do have a deep respect to moms tagged in the other spectrum, and to any mom that manages to rise any human being into a healthy respectful adult, regardless of the method.

But more than being tagged in that group for all the "benefits" of doing things the way I'm doing it, I should be tagged into the "easy lazy mom" group. I do things the way I do because it makes my life easier. Taking care of a baby in any situation will turn your life around, and we always try to rest and have breaks. So no, I don't co-sleep because of the great bond, I don't cloth diaper because of the ecology and I don't breast-feed because of the antibodies. I do those things because they are the easy choices according to my own situation and my own lifestyle.

So I may need less things than other moms, or more, to that effect. Realistically, all babies need is food, love, a place to sleep and a way of dealing with their mess. So feel free to buy all the extra stuff because it makes your life easier and because it's awfully cute. I won't tell you what to buy or not, I will only tell my experience with the stuff I have. (Oh, yeah, you didn't need my approval in the first place)

Being a parent is a learning process that never ends, my best advice: enjoy the ride.