I was raised in what Occidentals would call the "traditional" way. I don't know where all these weird traditions come from, but it is how most my friends and family were raised too.
I was not breastfed, I slept in my own crib since day 1 and in my own room since I turned 6 months. I was transported in a stroller, born via c-section and tied to a schedule.
I turned out OK. I have 2 wonderful parents that not only love me and my siblings like crazy and keep providing and helping us, even as adults. They also love each other more than anything else. I am very fortunate that I still have 2 healthy parents living together and always willing to help.
But my health did not turn out that great. Even though I am in good shape, my thyroid doesn't work, I have arthritis and hypoglycemia. According to my parents, those problems were unavoidable. Still, before turning 1, I got every sickness on the manual, had to be moved out of Mexico City due to respiratory problems and did not gain height or weight in a really long time.
One other problem I always had was lack of sleep. I would spend hours and hours looking at the ceiling, reading, wondering around the house. I woke up at 7 am every Sunday when everybody else was sound asleep and even wrote poems about my insomnia in my teenage years.
All that came to an ending when I got pregnant. I noticed I was falling asleep on the Subway, watching movies, driving (don't do it please)... That was the most obvious pregnancy sign.
But then the baby came out. I had been raised to think that they had to go to the moses basin and then to their own crib. I had everything ready and... his first night on the house was living hell. He woke up some 5 times. I would nurse him, he would go back to sleep and wake up 30 minutes later.
By the third night, I was so exhausted that when he woke up at 5 am and I wanted to wait half an hour to feed him (according to the "schedule"), I brought him to bed, and the three of us passed out for 3 hours!!
All of a sudden we woke up at 8 am, refreshed and happy. I told my parents what had happened and my dad just said "NO". I felt so guilty I tried for several nights to fix that terrible mistake, only to realize that the only way we would get some rest was sleeping the three of us together.
Then a friend of mine sent me Dr Sears' Baby Book. It was an awakening. I saw the "converting" and the "sect" part of it and took things with perspective. But I found a validation in my every night sleeping routine and started doing it without guilt.
Later on I discovered a fantastic ability: the art of sleeping during the day. I had never been able to master such a craft. Naps were never part of my agenda, I had always been deprived of sleep, because if I had not done it at night, it would just never come and recovery was never on the horizon. Better yet, I could put my baby to sleep with me. It was not what my dad told me: "sleep while the baby sleeps or you won't have a chance" but "if you want to sleep, take the baby and make him sleep too".
I'm a much healthier human being since I became a mom. I don't recall when was the last time I got a serious cold but it was more than 2 years ago. My boys have never been sick, they don't know the meaning of it. I don't know if breast feeding and co sleeping has anything to do with it, but I can safely say that it has been a pleasure to have two babies that sleep through the night from the start, nurse while sleeping and keep going. It works for our family and has saved me countless sleep hours.
So if somebody tells me that it will take a lot of effort to get my boys to sleep in their own bed, it will never equal what I have saved. And yes, Little Guy likes sneaking in some nights, but mostly sleeps on his own by now, effortlessly.
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
My Boy Has Long Hair
I have two beautiful boys: Tiny Guy and Little Guy.
Little Guy is over 3 now and at this point, mostly out of diapers. He is a very singular one, with things done at his own pace and by his own way.
Due to my husband's beliefs, we didn't cut his hair when he was little, and then, kinda forgot about it. What came out was an amazing straight hair and bangs that he loves waving.
We do have a person that cuts his hair and leaves it long in a boyish fashion, but she lives very far, and due to Tiny Guy's arrival, we have not been able to see her, so Little Guy's hair is really long! We'll give it a cut when we see her, but in the meantime we're just trimming the bangs. We tried someone here and gave him a girl's cut (yuck!)
So, as you may think, I get all kinds of comments, I get the "what a gorgeous hair" and, most of the time the "you SHOULD cut his hair". Combined with the more polite "do you think it would be a good idea to cut his hair?" and my favorite: no comment at all, just a pedantic sign of cutting your hair in front of me in my own house, done to somebody else.
Why don't I do it then? well, by starters, I don't think it's someone else's business what I do with my child's hair. It's, more than our business, his. And let me tell you something, he may be delayed in his speech, but he can comunicate, and he has stated very clearly that he loves his long hair and doesn't want it short.
Moreover, my husband has long hair. My son does not understand that long hair is supposed to be "for girls", he doesn't understand gender issues very well, he knows he is more like Daddy than like me, and Daddy has long hair, so why wouldn't he?
Which brings me to gender issues. I have always stated that I have a boy, but never told him so. I have never told him the difference between boys and girls or showed him specific toys. He sees pink as one more color and does not relate it to girls. He is 3 and learning 2 languages, but he is, in all aspects, a boy.
Whoever says that little children don't know about gender identity have never had one. My little boy has not been exposed to gender related propaganda, yet he likes toy cars, trains, climbing, red, blue, green, Cars (the movie), Thomas the Train, running around, balls, etc. He doesn't care about how he looks and usually picks bright color T-shirts and jeans for outside (and nothing for inside). He climbs what you put in front of him, he is independent and determined. He doesn't care much about dolls, only once in a while he will get a stuffed animal and hug it. So, he has let us know that he is a boy, in every aspect, including the hair.
So, next time you see a child, before looking at the hair, look at what the child does and what the child is wearing and the child's behavior. The other day at a doctor's office, the conversation went like this:
-What a gorgeous boy you have
-Thank you.
-At first I thought it was a girl, but then I saw the cars and how he was playing and noted that his outfit was definitely boyish.
-I'm glad, people take him for a girl a lot.
-People just don't think.
So, use your brain for more than half a second. There are several children out there that are not what you pictured in your brain, mine being one of those.
Little Guy is over 3 now and at this point, mostly out of diapers. He is a very singular one, with things done at his own pace and by his own way.
Due to my husband's beliefs, we didn't cut his hair when he was little, and then, kinda forgot about it. What came out was an amazing straight hair and bangs that he loves waving.
We do have a person that cuts his hair and leaves it long in a boyish fashion, but she lives very far, and due to Tiny Guy's arrival, we have not been able to see her, so Little Guy's hair is really long! We'll give it a cut when we see her, but in the meantime we're just trimming the bangs. We tried someone here and gave him a girl's cut (yuck!)
So, as you may think, I get all kinds of comments, I get the "what a gorgeous hair" and, most of the time the "you SHOULD cut his hair". Combined with the more polite "do you think it would be a good idea to cut his hair?" and my favorite: no comment at all, just a pedantic sign of cutting your hair in front of me in my own house, done to somebody else.
Why don't I do it then? well, by starters, I don't think it's someone else's business what I do with my child's hair. It's, more than our business, his. And let me tell you something, he may be delayed in his speech, but he can comunicate, and he has stated very clearly that he loves his long hair and doesn't want it short.
Moreover, my husband has long hair. My son does not understand that long hair is supposed to be "for girls", he doesn't understand gender issues very well, he knows he is more like Daddy than like me, and Daddy has long hair, so why wouldn't he?
Which brings me to gender issues. I have always stated that I have a boy, but never told him so. I have never told him the difference between boys and girls or showed him specific toys. He sees pink as one more color and does not relate it to girls. He is 3 and learning 2 languages, but he is, in all aspects, a boy.
Whoever says that little children don't know about gender identity have never had one. My little boy has not been exposed to gender related propaganda, yet he likes toy cars, trains, climbing, red, blue, green, Cars (the movie), Thomas the Train, running around, balls, etc. He doesn't care about how he looks and usually picks bright color T-shirts and jeans for outside (and nothing for inside). He climbs what you put in front of him, he is independent and determined. He doesn't care much about dolls, only once in a while he will get a stuffed animal and hug it. So, he has let us know that he is a boy, in every aspect, including the hair.
So, next time you see a child, before looking at the hair, look at what the child does and what the child is wearing and the child's behavior. The other day at a doctor's office, the conversation went like this:
-What a gorgeous boy you have
-Thank you.
-At first I thought it was a girl, but then I saw the cars and how he was playing and noted that his outfit was definitely boyish.
-I'm glad, people take him for a girl a lot.
-People just don't think.
So, use your brain for more than half a second. There are several children out there that are not what you pictured in your brain, mine being one of those.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
The Tag
When I found out there was a little bean on the way, I didn't mentally prepare myself to it, I didn't start shopping and I didn't make a plan.
I assumed the deal was done, I had seen plenty of babies in my family and taken care of them. I knew what they needed and it seemed to be only one way to do things. I also was pretty broke and trying to get only the basic things. I kept making my list smaller and realized how many things babies don't actually need.
Then Little Guy came. He twisted my world around in 2 days and made me realize I was going to do things my way, and not my family's. He wouldn't sleep in his bassinet, and I started co-sleeping just because I needed to rest and it was the only way. I felt bad, I felt I was spoiling my kid for life. Then I got across the famous (and infamous) dr Sears' Baby Book and that opened a whole new world for me. I saw the "cult" inclination on it and tried not to fall for it, but found there were different ways of approaching parenthood and that what I felt was right was what counted.
But I also discovered the other side of the coin. A group of moms that do things the other way and try to claim that theirs is the only one. They will snob you if you don't co-sleep, don't breastfeed til they children are 5, and don't wear your baby. And I found there's a war between these 2 types of parents and that they will urge you to take a side, and tag yourself.
So, what's my tag? I think I belong a little more to the co-sleeping extended breastfeeding cloth diapering type, but I do have a deep respect to moms tagged in the other spectrum, and to any mom that manages to rise any human being into a healthy respectful adult, regardless of the method.
But more than being tagged in that group for all the "benefits" of doing things the way I'm doing it, I should be tagged into the "easy lazy mom" group. I do things the way I do because it makes my life easier. Taking care of a baby in any situation will turn your life around, and we always try to rest and have breaks. So no, I don't co-sleep because of the great bond, I don't cloth diaper because of the ecology and I don't breast-feed because of the antibodies. I do those things because they are the easy choices according to my own situation and my own lifestyle.
So I may need less things than other moms, or more, to that effect. Realistically, all babies need is food, love, a place to sleep and a way of dealing with their mess. So feel free to buy all the extra stuff because it makes your life easier and because it's awfully cute. I won't tell you what to buy or not, I will only tell my experience with the stuff I have. (Oh, yeah, you didn't need my approval in the first place)
Being a parent is a learning process that never ends, my best advice: enjoy the ride.
I assumed the deal was done, I had seen plenty of babies in my family and taken care of them. I knew what they needed and it seemed to be only one way to do things. I also was pretty broke and trying to get only the basic things. I kept making my list smaller and realized how many things babies don't actually need.
Then Little Guy came. He twisted my world around in 2 days and made me realize I was going to do things my way, and not my family's. He wouldn't sleep in his bassinet, and I started co-sleeping just because I needed to rest and it was the only way. I felt bad, I felt I was spoiling my kid for life. Then I got across the famous (and infamous) dr Sears' Baby Book and that opened a whole new world for me. I saw the "cult" inclination on it and tried not to fall for it, but found there were different ways of approaching parenthood and that what I felt was right was what counted.
But I also discovered the other side of the coin. A group of moms that do things the other way and try to claim that theirs is the only one. They will snob you if you don't co-sleep, don't breastfeed til they children are 5, and don't wear your baby. And I found there's a war between these 2 types of parents and that they will urge you to take a side, and tag yourself.
So, what's my tag? I think I belong a little more to the co-sleeping extended breastfeeding cloth diapering type, but I do have a deep respect to moms tagged in the other spectrum, and to any mom that manages to rise any human being into a healthy respectful adult, regardless of the method.
But more than being tagged in that group for all the "benefits" of doing things the way I'm doing it, I should be tagged into the "easy lazy mom" group. I do things the way I do because it makes my life easier. Taking care of a baby in any situation will turn your life around, and we always try to rest and have breaks. So no, I don't co-sleep because of the great bond, I don't cloth diaper because of the ecology and I don't breast-feed because of the antibodies. I do those things because they are the easy choices according to my own situation and my own lifestyle.
So I may need less things than other moms, or more, to that effect. Realistically, all babies need is food, love, a place to sleep and a way of dealing with their mess. So feel free to buy all the extra stuff because it makes your life easier and because it's awfully cute. I won't tell you what to buy or not, I will only tell my experience with the stuff I have. (Oh, yeah, you didn't need my approval in the first place)
Being a parent is a learning process that never ends, my best advice: enjoy the ride.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Childbirth and its controversies
Most cloth diapering moms are in the wave of home birth and anti pain medication. Well, I'm not one of them.
Just as I don't do cloth diapers for environmental reasons, I think it's great that you can have your baby at home, but it's just not for every mom and not for every occasion. C-sections are awful, painful and well, a total nightmare, but in my case, they were just unavoidable. Maybe that's why (or due to my family history) I never considered the posibility of delivering my babies at home.
Both stories are very similar. The difference being, one had 20 hours of labor, the other didn't have labor at all. Still, I believe I did the best I could under the circumstances. Let me explain.
For some unknown reason, pregnancy is set to be a 40 week endavour in which you should never reach that magic number. I don't understand why. If you do some research, you would find that the magical number is actually 42, and even that number could be surpassed.
So what does 40 mean then? the answer is in the question, it's a mean, an average between 38 and 42, which is what more than 90% of normal pregnancies last.
But when you are big as a planet and have MD parents putting pressure on you, 38 becomes already a too late ordeal. When those parents live abroad and have to make accommodations to come and help, a 4 week span is just way too long. Targeting it to be there just when the baby wants to come out becomes practically impossible.
In any case, with my first child, I was so exhausted by that magical 38 number I almost induced it. But then, my parents arrived 4 days later, and I had just stopped working. The result was that I, for once, rested and spent most of the day laying down. Not having to stay standing made the rest of the pregnancy tolerable, so I decided to wait until the baby wanted to come out.
It wasn't easy, the stress given by my parents can drive anybody insane. According to their medical knowledge, a baby is just ready at 38 weeks and if such baby is not engaged, there's no point and a lot of risk in waiting, which results in an outrageously high rate of C-sections in the private health sector in Mexico. I picked the hospital with the lowest C-sec rate in the city and a totally pro natural approach, I did not want my belly opened, I did not want to have to recover, I did not want the post-op pain, I couldn't afford it, they were going back to Mexico and I had a baby and a husband to take care of, who was going to take care of me?
So the baby decided to come at 41 weeks. For my parents that was super late and tardy, for statistics, it's just normal. I had a peaceful labor while at home, took a long shower, laying down in the couch, making Sudokkus and timing the contractions. By 6 AM, everybody was ready to leave and I was getting the 3 in less than 10 minutes mark, so we left, no big deal. Arriving at an early hour allows you to not make any lines and be admitted immediately.
According to the resident, I had dilated 4 cm and was in good shape. Well, he forgot to mention the beautiful detail that the baby was not engaged. 4 hours later, just after I had gotten the epidural, the next resident in turn checked again. Same 4 cm and still no engaging, oh yeah, she forgot that part too! They tried a little bit of oxitocin, the baby didn't like it and I ended up with oxygen and the oxytocin taken out in an hour. Still 5 or 6 cm (ok, we have progress) but NO ENGAGING!! and they wouldn't tell. All those hours I was lying in bed, half asleep, believing my body was doing progress and the contractions were working, they were not. It was close to 7 PM when I was informed the head was all the way up, not even attempting to come down, and at this rate, it never would. The baby was suffering, the oxygen was scarce and the residents were a bunch of idiots. At that moment, the OBGYN programmed the C-section. It still took about an hour to get me to the ER with all the preparations and such (it was not considered an emergency one).
30 minutes after entering the OR, I heard my baby screaming loud and well. He was a beautiful 8 pounder in perfect shape, just with a little bit of meconium. Then the nightmare began, they take your husband and baby away and stay closing you up for an eternity, in pain and desperate. They are controling you and you cannot even move.
After that, they brought the baby to nurse when I had 2 doctors and 2 nurses on top of me, there was no space for them to pass me the baby, so my mom (very invasively) took the baby and stomped a bottle of formula on him. That was the most horrific moment ever. I missed my baby's first feeding.
I had to stay 3 days in the hospital and due to my mother's pressure, I gave in and allowed them to take the baby to the nursery at night. The pain was unbearable, I couldn't walk, was in Percocet around the clock and had control on absolutely nothing.
But, aside from that, the hospital treated me well, the nurses were the best ones I've seen and I made it home safe and sound. The baby latched immediately and I didn't have a single problem nursing him. I actually did it for 2 1/2 years.
And the recovery not a problem. It was fast and easy, I stopped taking pain killers one week after the birth, and was walking normally within 2 weeks. Due to the nursing, I recovered my weight in less than a month.
Was it ideal? hell no! but he decided his birthday and I wasn't rushed into a programmed induction or c-section. He decided when to come, when he was ready. I have the healthiest boy on the planet. He's never been sick.
C-sections exist for many reasons. I'm one of them. Before they were performed, the maternity death rate was considerably higher. I don't think they should be performed just as an option, I don't think the OBGYNs should perform them just to save time and not be hassled. I missed a lot, instead of being put in his mother's arms, he was taken away and examined. They got my baby under their control. But, they are neccesary, and the recovery is much faster than 30 years ago.
That very same year, 2 of my friends also gave birth in different parts of the globe. One of them went to a non medicated birth center, adjacent to a hospital and was seen through the whole pregnancy by a midwife. She ended up with preeclampsia, going to another hospital in an advanced labor stage, driven by her husband because that one was full and didn't even have ambulances available. She spent 5 days in the hospital, full of medications to lower her blood pressure and out of milk.
The other one chose a midwife to have a home delivery. I don't know all the details, but after 24 hours of getting stocked and not making progress, she finally gave in, took a cab and went to a hospital to have an emergency c-section. After those anguishing moments of surgery, she had a beautiful girl and had no problem nursing.
Seems like having chosen a hospital that was a birthing center and pro natural births but with an OR in the same floor was the best choice and my story, the least horrific of the 3.
My second child was similar with the waiting, but he never came. Due to the first c-section, they had a policy of programming an intervention at 41 weeks if no labor occurs, so I was operated again. The tension with my parents was even higher. They couldn't understand why I didn't choose to have it sooner, what was the point of waiting? the baby was MORE THAN READY.
And then my mom went on to say that I was born 10 days early and weighted 6.6 pounds. That I was ready then and waiting was risky because there couldn't be "any labor involved". That was the thinking 30 years ago with a prior c-section. And I went on and told her that I wouldn't eat enough milk, she ended up with mastitis, stopped nursing at 10 days and I was allergic to every single thing they tried feeding me with, ending up with horrible soy formula that didn't do a thing, gaining 1 pound in 6 months and mysteriously becoming hypothyroid at 1 year, likely due to the soy.
Is that what you call more than ready? Had I been ready, I would have eaten more and been saved of all the hassled that implied not having been breastfed. My second baby is as huge, happy and healthy as the first, this time I didn't allow doctors to touch me after I had nursed and asked for co-sleeping despite my mother's objections, but the recovery was much harder. Second c-sections come with contractions. It wasn't fun and it took nearly a month. But I'm fully recovered.
So, which option is better? the one you pick. C-secs aren't as horrible as home birthers try to paint them. If that's the worst I had with my babies, then I can say I'm doing pretty darn good.
Just as I don't do cloth diapers for environmental reasons, I think it's great that you can have your baby at home, but it's just not for every mom and not for every occasion. C-sections are awful, painful and well, a total nightmare, but in my case, they were just unavoidable. Maybe that's why (or due to my family history) I never considered the posibility of delivering my babies at home.
Both stories are very similar. The difference being, one had 20 hours of labor, the other didn't have labor at all. Still, I believe I did the best I could under the circumstances. Let me explain.
For some unknown reason, pregnancy is set to be a 40 week endavour in which you should never reach that magic number. I don't understand why. If you do some research, you would find that the magical number is actually 42, and even that number could be surpassed.
So what does 40 mean then? the answer is in the question, it's a mean, an average between 38 and 42, which is what more than 90% of normal pregnancies last.
But when you are big as a planet and have MD parents putting pressure on you, 38 becomes already a too late ordeal. When those parents live abroad and have to make accommodations to come and help, a 4 week span is just way too long. Targeting it to be there just when the baby wants to come out becomes practically impossible.
In any case, with my first child, I was so exhausted by that magical 38 number I almost induced it. But then, my parents arrived 4 days later, and I had just stopped working. The result was that I, for once, rested and spent most of the day laying down. Not having to stay standing made the rest of the pregnancy tolerable, so I decided to wait until the baby wanted to come out.
It wasn't easy, the stress given by my parents can drive anybody insane. According to their medical knowledge, a baby is just ready at 38 weeks and if such baby is not engaged, there's no point and a lot of risk in waiting, which results in an outrageously high rate of C-sections in the private health sector in Mexico. I picked the hospital with the lowest C-sec rate in the city and a totally pro natural approach, I did not want my belly opened, I did not want to have to recover, I did not want the post-op pain, I couldn't afford it, they were going back to Mexico and I had a baby and a husband to take care of, who was going to take care of me?
So the baby decided to come at 41 weeks. For my parents that was super late and tardy, for statistics, it's just normal. I had a peaceful labor while at home, took a long shower, laying down in the couch, making Sudokkus and timing the contractions. By 6 AM, everybody was ready to leave and I was getting the 3 in less than 10 minutes mark, so we left, no big deal. Arriving at an early hour allows you to not make any lines and be admitted immediately.
According to the resident, I had dilated 4 cm and was in good shape. Well, he forgot to mention the beautiful detail that the baby was not engaged. 4 hours later, just after I had gotten the epidural, the next resident in turn checked again. Same 4 cm and still no engaging, oh yeah, she forgot that part too! They tried a little bit of oxitocin, the baby didn't like it and I ended up with oxygen and the oxytocin taken out in an hour. Still 5 or 6 cm (ok, we have progress) but NO ENGAGING!! and they wouldn't tell. All those hours I was lying in bed, half asleep, believing my body was doing progress and the contractions were working, they were not. It was close to 7 PM when I was informed the head was all the way up, not even attempting to come down, and at this rate, it never would. The baby was suffering, the oxygen was scarce and the residents were a bunch of idiots. At that moment, the OBGYN programmed the C-section. It still took about an hour to get me to the ER with all the preparations and such (it was not considered an emergency one).
30 minutes after entering the OR, I heard my baby screaming loud and well. He was a beautiful 8 pounder in perfect shape, just with a little bit of meconium. Then the nightmare began, they take your husband and baby away and stay closing you up for an eternity, in pain and desperate. They are controling you and you cannot even move.
After that, they brought the baby to nurse when I had 2 doctors and 2 nurses on top of me, there was no space for them to pass me the baby, so my mom (very invasively) took the baby and stomped a bottle of formula on him. That was the most horrific moment ever. I missed my baby's first feeding.
I had to stay 3 days in the hospital and due to my mother's pressure, I gave in and allowed them to take the baby to the nursery at night. The pain was unbearable, I couldn't walk, was in Percocet around the clock and had control on absolutely nothing.
But, aside from that, the hospital treated me well, the nurses were the best ones I've seen and I made it home safe and sound. The baby latched immediately and I didn't have a single problem nursing him. I actually did it for 2 1/2 years.
And the recovery not a problem. It was fast and easy, I stopped taking pain killers one week after the birth, and was walking normally within 2 weeks. Due to the nursing, I recovered my weight in less than a month.
Was it ideal? hell no! but he decided his birthday and I wasn't rushed into a programmed induction or c-section. He decided when to come, when he was ready. I have the healthiest boy on the planet. He's never been sick.
C-sections exist for many reasons. I'm one of them. Before they were performed, the maternity death rate was considerably higher. I don't think they should be performed just as an option, I don't think the OBGYNs should perform them just to save time and not be hassled. I missed a lot, instead of being put in his mother's arms, he was taken away and examined. They got my baby under their control. But, they are neccesary, and the recovery is much faster than 30 years ago.
That very same year, 2 of my friends also gave birth in different parts of the globe. One of them went to a non medicated birth center, adjacent to a hospital and was seen through the whole pregnancy by a midwife. She ended up with preeclampsia, going to another hospital in an advanced labor stage, driven by her husband because that one was full and didn't even have ambulances available. She spent 5 days in the hospital, full of medications to lower her blood pressure and out of milk.
The other one chose a midwife to have a home delivery. I don't know all the details, but after 24 hours of getting stocked and not making progress, she finally gave in, took a cab and went to a hospital to have an emergency c-section. After those anguishing moments of surgery, she had a beautiful girl and had no problem nursing.
Seems like having chosen a hospital that was a birthing center and pro natural births but with an OR in the same floor was the best choice and my story, the least horrific of the 3.
My second child was similar with the waiting, but he never came. Due to the first c-section, they had a policy of programming an intervention at 41 weeks if no labor occurs, so I was operated again. The tension with my parents was even higher. They couldn't understand why I didn't choose to have it sooner, what was the point of waiting? the baby was MORE THAN READY.
And then my mom went on to say that I was born 10 days early and weighted 6.6 pounds. That I was ready then and waiting was risky because there couldn't be "any labor involved". That was the thinking 30 years ago with a prior c-section. And I went on and told her that I wouldn't eat enough milk, she ended up with mastitis, stopped nursing at 10 days and I was allergic to every single thing they tried feeding me with, ending up with horrible soy formula that didn't do a thing, gaining 1 pound in 6 months and mysteriously becoming hypothyroid at 1 year, likely due to the soy.
Is that what you call more than ready? Had I been ready, I would have eaten more and been saved of all the hassled that implied not having been breastfed. My second baby is as huge, happy and healthy as the first, this time I didn't allow doctors to touch me after I had nursed and asked for co-sleeping despite my mother's objections, but the recovery was much harder. Second c-sections come with contractions. It wasn't fun and it took nearly a month. But I'm fully recovered.
So, which option is better? the one you pick. C-secs aren't as horrible as home birthers try to paint them. If that's the worst I had with my babies, then I can say I'm doing pretty darn good.
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